Monday, July 17, 2006


It's only been a few months since I last updated. The past few months have been trying on myself. I was diagnosed with a gluten intolerance. If you are not sure what this is click here: . I know and understand that there are far worse diseases/cancers to be diagnosed with. This intolerance has taken over my life. I have to constantly watch what I eat. I am becoming good at diciphering food labels. One thing with this diet is that I have lost weight and inches. Before this intolerance I was about 155lbs and around a size 10. Now, I am not sure about the weight part, but I know I a size 6/8. Not bad with no exercise.

Besides the intolerance, I just have been working. Work seems to take up most of my life. I actually like working because I don't think about problems in my life. Some things have been going through my mind lately and I am just not sure what to make of them. I have been in a relationship for quite some time now and I am starting to question it. There are things that he does that I do not particularly care for. Those things are not illegal, just annoying. I just can't picture him being a stable father. He would never do anything to harm the child but he does not like change, being messy, and can't handle complicated matters. Those items basically sum up one's childhood.

We have been dating since I was 18 1/2 years old. He is my first serious relationship. Something in my mind keeps telling me that I need to explore and be a 25 year old. I understand that there are many people who would love to be in my shoes--dating someone for a long time or just dating someone period. I miss being on my own, living an independent lifestyle. We have been living together for the past 1 1/2 year(s). I want someone who can fend for himself; make his own meals, pay his own bills, balance his own checkbook, etc. I know all of these things seem trivial, but when you work 60+ hours/week and still have to care for yourself and someone else, it's tough. Alot of times I feel like a mother not a girlfriend. I ask him to do things around the house, those items usually don't get done. When I try to talk to him about how he needs to help me around the house, he usually says, I am not in the mood to talk or I am having a bad mental day. These mental days need to stop. It's too hard to explain his mental days. They just happen and lately, it's been often lately. I feel selfish for writing these things down, but honestly, I feel kind of relieved. Must be's almost 5pm.

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