Wednesday, August 15, 2007


Garfield is one my favorite comic strips.

Working Under Pressure

There is nothing like working under a tight deadline. I feel the pressure in my stomach, on my shoulders, and in my mind. Oddly enough, I like working under pressure. Sometimes, I actually produce my best work while under pressure. This time though, working on the tight deadline was not my fault. I didn't procrastinate! Yippee!! My boss had to go out of town unexpectedly for a few days, so my reports had to be done before he left.

Normally, I take my time while working on these reports. I want the reports to be as accurate as possible. I mean, I am working with money here. I completed these reports in one day, today that is.

Gotta love working under pressure.

Monday, August 13, 2007

Gluten & Dairy Free & Single

Now that I am single, I want to spend some time to myself, however, I do want to date people. However, I am really nervous about dating because of my dietary restrictions. When I tell my friends what I can and can't have, some of them look at me like I have ten heads. I can only imagine telling potential dates of my dietary needs. It's not like I can hide these dietary restrictions. As soon as I am contaminated with gluten or dairy, I am sick. I can actually feel the gluten or dairy as I am eating it. I know too much information. But you get my point.

I think dating and maintaining my gluten and dairy lifestyle will be a challenge. But I like challenges. I have never turned down a challenge before and I am not going to now. I am just going to have to find a person with my same dietary restrictions or a find a person who is understanding and likes a good challenge.

Love

I stopped loving my ex-boyfriend over a year ago. However, I didn't do anything about my feelings at that time. I didn't discuss my feelings with anyone. I kept going on with life like nothing was wrong. I am not sure what I was waiting for. A sign that the I could relove him again. Not too sure. I guess mentally and emotionally I shut myself off towards him. We just lived together like roommates. Then I decided I couldn't physically go on with the relationship. That's when I had to end it.

I guess at an early age, I learned how to stop loving someone quickly. Maybe that comes from having so many people come in and out of my life in a short period. I do not enjoy not loving someone when you really should. It's a hard feeling to explain. In a beginning of a relationship, I have noticed that I start loving people early on. However, if for some reason the relationship is not working, I can stop loving them quickly. It's almost like I have a switch inside of me.....turn love on....turn love off. Sometimes I feel like Coldheart from the Care Bears.

I guess that's just who I am.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Update on my Beef, Beans, and Rice

Last night, I was hungry for something that stuck to stomach. Enter in my chili recipe. I took this recipe and add a few more items.

I added hot sauce, garlic, onions, green peppers, and dark brown sugar. I sauteed the garlic and onions with green peppers. Once that got going I added the beef. I followed the recipe like normal. Once I tasted the final product, it was a little too hot for me to handle. Looking through my pantry, I decided to add some dark brown sugar. My taste buds were doing the hokey pokey, it was that good. The dark brown sugar gives it a subtle sweet flavor. When I took a bite, I first experienced the slight sweetness then the heat.

Definitely will make again.

What do you add to your chili?

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Finally A Posting

It's been over a week now. I am happy and relieved. It feels like a load of bricks have been taken off of my shoulders. Yet at times, I wonder what the hell did I do a week ago. There are times I cry, there are times I am smiling from ear to ear. There are times I feel like I made a mistake. I am looking forward to reclaiming my independence.

What exactly am I talking about? I ended my seven and half year relationship with my boyfriend last week. If you review my posts from either last July or August, I was not happy with our relationship. Well this past Thursday, I snapped mentally and emotionally. I didn't snap at anyone, just myself (if that makes sense). I wrote my boyfriend a letter stating that I would like him to leave. I cried as I typed that note. It was one the hardest things that I have ever done. Writing that letter was much harder than putting my father in jail.

I prefer not to discuss all of the reasons why I made that decision, but the above referenced posts will give you the reader some insight as to why I ended the relationship.

I refuse to be one of those people who constantly bad mouthes their exes. Growing up, I saw this attitude from my parents and step parent towards each other. It's not classy, healthy, and it's just down right depressing and hard for me to do. I will have nothing but good things to say about him. I realize and understand that everyone has their flaws. No one is perfect. Some people may say, "Why did you end the relationship then?" Those people do not need to know my explanation. I just prefer to take the high road.

It's finally starting to set in that I am by myself again. I understand when other bloggers state that they miss having that other person in bed with them. There's this cold feeling. Slowly, I am adjusting to this cold feeling. I don't like the feeling, but it's something that I am learning to handle.

Here's a question to anyone reading this: Do you keep the things that an ex has given you? I have some nice items that he gave me throughout our relationship. This was my first real relationship and my first real break up. So, I am not sure what I should do. My heart says to keep these items and move along in my life.

One of my coworkers gave me a card today, it said, "Boys go to Jupiter to get stupider." All I could do was laugh. I understand that the card was to make me laugh and it sure did. I keep that card in my desk in my glass box with the words "Pull out for laughter". That card came in use today when several things were not going to plan. I just pulled out that card and it made me laugh. I was able to regain my mind and plow forward with my projects. She doesn't realize how much that card meant to me.

A lot of times, actions speak louder than words. However at times, words do speak louder than actions. As in the case of my letter and my coworkers card.